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Amongst other things, this is a love story.... the theme changes occasionally... this year it is fitness and learning to love yourself.

31 December 2013

Stop the chatter, silence and bad drivers.

Thanks search for silence in google images... sorry didn't get the link and am in a hurry :D

After the year 2000 fizzled into just another day, I remember saying and believing, that if you weren't depressed you were in denial.

Some people handle depression, anxiety and  stress better than others. I have basically lived with depression since I was born.  I cried a lot as a baby, big tears. So I'm told. Yet everywhere I go people comment on my smile. "You're always so happy," they say.
"Happy to see you," I say in return.

I'm not faking it, I am generally happy, smiley and friendly too. Some have even said I'm the most positive person they have ever met, and it's probably true, there are a lot of miserable people out there. I live with these feelings of heaviness, and a constant chattering mind, just like I live with bad drivers on the roads. I used to get so angry at them, chase cars that cut me off, tailgate slow drivers, yell at red lights, speed - all the time - I hated idiots on the road and I was one of them.

Now as we come to the end of Twenty Thirteen I realise a lot has changed. The chatter is less constant. I only ever seem to get anxious if I have misplaced something. I could probably control it but it's like a twitch that feels good to let out once in a while. I am also a much better driver. I still see dumb moves on the road every day and traffic lights keep turning red.  I decided a long time ago, that letting them annoy me was like signing a contract that every single time I get behind the wheel of a car my temper would be ignited. As if there isn't enough stress in the world.

Moving to a one traffic light town has helped, but the biggest change of all is a shift from being personally affected by everything and believing it is happening to me, to a more simple habit of observing the world around me.

Silence could very well be the key. Try practising a day or two of silence.  Joshua Becker in his article "A simple experiment to change your view of words" gives simple instructions on how to get the most out of silence. One step at a time. It's like a grown up version of the "who's going to talk first" game with a purpose, other than keeping the kids quiet.  There are no strict rules just try to remain silent and pay attention to what you hear.

To round things up here is my favourite track about silence.

Signing off for 2013 with a big thank you to all who supported my blogging adventure, and best wishes and peace to all for 2014.



  1. I know what you mean. Bad drivers take the fun out of driving for me. I used to love to drive.
    Stay safe. Have a very Happy New Year.

    1. Yes especially the 'hoons' that tailgate, I never speed up for them, and even put my hazard lights on if they get too close. Traffic in a big city is tedious that takes the fun out of it for me at times, but I did learn to appreciate the delays, as a time out or moment to just breathe and relax

  2. Or trying even an hour of silence might work. I tried this one morning and was surprised at how many sounds I took for granted. It was quite soothing to sit quietly and listen. All the best in 2014.

    1. Hi Sharon. Yes, even an hour is valuable. I love the suggestion in the article that parents with young kids should let their kids know they want tot practice silence for a day or shorter period of time. It takes a bit of practice but it's doable and I think fun too

  3. Dear Ida,

    I understand and I relate to your posting. People see you and they see the friendly, outgoing lady. It is indeed very real and a part of who you are. Depression, something we do our best to live with rather than suffer from.

    Your positivity, a reinforcement of your caring for others. A reinforcement as therapy for yourself. The chatter from the inner critic does tell lies. I'm encouraged that the chatter has become more of a whisper.

    I find that driving on familiar roads and keeping it simple, has been much better for me. I drive a lot on my own and going to unfamiliar places causes much anxiety. And yet, I challenge it and complete with white knuckles, I arrive at the destination.

    Silence is a way of life for me, my friend. I am often immersed in sound of silence, only broken by the ticking off the clock, the wind rustling through the trees. The silence I sense does feel me with contentment.

    That be a soothing song. Thank you and remember, you are special and the world is a better place because you are here.

    A peaceful, hopeful 2014 to you and your loved ones.

    Gary :)

    1. Thanks Gary during phases of suffering I used to called me 'hav'achat'. I'll never forget the first time I silenced the chatter for the briefest of moments and realised silence was nothing to be afraid of. I have enjoyed it (and it's sounds) as much as possible ever since. Driving has always been synonymous with freedom for me, l think I was to proud to be afraid of it. I love teaching new drivers how to stop the things they can't control on the roads from stressing them out. Like bad drivers, obstacles, running late and traffic lights.
      Many happy returns

  4. Happy to see you- what a perfect response! I know this feeling well, my friend. Happy New Year!

    1. My favourite smiles are the ones people give you back when they weren't expecting to get one :)

  5. Depression's something I live with each day. I've come to accept that.

    I was dreading Christmas this year... but I've managed to get through it.

    1. Happy new year William I hope you get through many more Christmas' and that each one becomes easier.

  6. Hi Ida, I'm popping in to wish you a happy, peaceful and productive 2014!
    Take care.
    Writer In Transit

    1. Thanks so much, and same to you Michelle, I had the intention of doing the same to my some of my fave bloggers, but have been too busy packing, hope to catch up more after my return