Wow we are at X already.
This journey through the Greatest loves of my life started with an idea to write about all my ex boyfriends... so this is an ode to my eXes.
Somewhere between my childhood loves and greatest love all, I found writing about my exes tedious. I had to find other things to write about, like my dog, career, mum, dad and the world around me... but I did manage to clear up at least one remaining wound - so I'm claiming a victory.
There are plenty of people that got no mentions. Some I dated once (possibly the best night of my life.) Some lasted a Summer (or two) like a repeated holiday romance...
I can't remember how many times I have been proposed too. The two earliest proposals were from guys I didn't even consider my boyfriends - I can't even remember their names - so they didn't get a mention either.
It used to annoy me that guys wanted to marry me. It made me feel less sexy. I didn't appreciate attracting marrying kinds when I was wild about the lead singer of the local club's band... and all he wanted was my friend.
I once believed I could die of a broken heart. I still don't really understand what compels some young women to chase after bad boys, when all we really desire is a good guy. What I do understand is that women want to be loved... and men want to love them. The second we start trying to force someone to make us feel how we want to feel - something is wrong.
Growing up I realised the pain I felt in the past was not caused by my exes but my own ego. The pain of a defeated ego doesn't compare to the pain of loss. The loss of beloved family members (including pets) and friends to accidents, suicide and illness.
It is true that each of my exes is still a part of me. I remember kisses, lingering touches, places we visited and moments of truth with all of them... (I am aware that they remember too) Some of my exes I want to forget, some I want only the best for and at least one I know of, will just have to settle for what's best for them.
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I'm just so glad I have never been married.
Why do you think some people have lots of relationships and others marry their first loves?
Is living together as big a commitment as marriage? Is it necessary to get married? If not for love than what are the other benefits of marriage? Why did you decide to marry? If you have been married twice or more, what made you decide to marry again?
I'm asking these questions because I have a hard time understanding why people do it.
I still do believe in love that lasts a lifetime. If mariage wasn't an expectation (and didn't save you money on taxes and insurance or help with visa applications) would you do it again and why?
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Read more about:
The A to Z challenge. My theme and links to all 26 Greatest loves of my life.
P.s if you are on my email list - sorry about all the updates... I had no idea what direction this post was heading in when I started it.
