G is for Grateful - A-Z challenge - Words of change. Day 8

grateful -|ˈgrātfəl|

adjective

feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.

Thursday:  Stressed. At the Library - A book about Reiki lying flat on the shelf. It's a new word, thing, therapy -  so I read it that night.

Friday: At the cafe - Open a newspaper to an advertisement for a Reiki course that starts this weekend. It's being run by the same lady that wrote the book. I ring the lady, she says "you're welcome, it's never to late."

Saturday:  Arrive at retreat early, immediately surrounded by animals - including a kangaroo. I am in nature. Maybe, I might relax. I hope to relax.  Initiated, dream of a lion roaring and a wolf watching.

Sunday:  Time to do yearly meditation, find a sound and choose a significant word. Lovely relaxing meditation. All I hear is birds - "shut up birds I'm trying to meditate."  

I  ask the lady "Am I doing it right? Everybody can hear the birds, we are in the bush, they are outside the window, not in my head -  "Should I've heard an AUM or a tone, something more... enlightening."

She smiles and says "You're doing just fine."

I reach into the bag and choose my word.

Grateful?

"what does that mean, should I just say thank you more often, don't I say it enough, and what sort of bird was that, how will I know if it's the right bird?"

Again she smiles "Give yourself time - you're doing just fine"

Long drive home. Sunset behind me.

Monday: – Wake up in my own bed, my room is a mess, I dread the thought of going to work. Through the noise, I hear a reminder to remember my word.  I'm grateful.... that I start work late and can lie here a bit longer...

More birds chatter and sing their songs, they never stop. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I sleep - chirping whistling chipping, clucking, tsipping, peeking, trilling, cheeping, cooing and cawing, be grateful, be grateful - Every day, week, month, year long, even at night, every single, silent, waking second of my year .

I'm grateful for concrete, I'm grateful for dust, I'm grateful for gifts and grateful for fazes, I'm so grateful for my tiny, one room apartment that has no balcony or air conditioning, because it is secure and shady.

I'm grateful Oprah taught millions of people to write a gratitude journal. I'm grateful for compliments and grateful for grateful and for all my 10 fingers that type what I think.

I'm grateful for every jerk I've been fortunate to meet, they taught me a lot about humanity and myself. I'm grateful for imagination and mind bending trips, and knowing what it means to be free. I'm grateful for fallen angels and people that can't find a job. I'm grateful for everybody, everything, and when I forget, I let birds remind me - again.

Even in moments filled with gloom, 'grateful' threw down the gauntlet to find gratitude.  It is hard to be angry at anything when you are in gratitude - Grateful taught me to be gentle, graceful, glamorous, gracious and good. It was gratifying and felt great... full.