humility |(h)yoōˈmilitē|
noun
a modest or low view of one's own importance;
humbleness.
The first word I pulled from my deck of magic spirit
cards was humility. I looked it up in the dictionary. I wasn't sure how it related to my question, or my
life.
The dictionary defintion didn't
help. Should I be more humble, or was I too humble? I read the
little instruction sheet that came with the cards, it suggested if you need help to understand just choose another card.
I shuffled the deck and spread them out face down,
closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind. I reached out, this time with my
left hand, and chose my second card, and got humility again. Was this
some kind of cosmic joke? Strange as it sounds I did it again, this was an ongoing saga.
I turned the
deck over and organised them into alphabetical order. I discovered my deck had two humility cards. I felt honoured and cheated. I’ve always
appreciated flaws, but couldn't my flaw be something more positive
and simple, like balance or harmony?
My quest for understanding was ignited. First I thought
about returning the deck, it was faulty could I replace them? Instead I decided it was a gift, a reflection of
me that needed exploring.
I pulled out a Thesaurus. Was I too humble and modest or too proud, vain and overbearing? Was
I all of these things, at different times, with different people? Was it positive or negative - did humility actually have two meanings, or did I just have to learn twice as much?
I devoted a lot of time to asking people what they
thought humility meant. Most said humble, others said humiliation. I learned it could mean the opposite of glory. Should I lower my
standards, or raise them higher? Am I being a servant instead of being of
service? Did I think I was better than everyone else or not
honouring my own worth. Was I learning from people around me, or trying to hard to teach them a lesson? Was I being aggressive, assertive or far too submissive?
These two little cards, made me look deeper... I was all
of those things, common and noble.
My shortcomings are obvious and strengths are many, we are all equal, no more or no less. All the positive and negative I see is just a
reflection of me.
 |
| My well used and abused deck with two doses of humiliy |
