H is for Humility - Humility. A-Z blogging challenge - Words of change. Day 8

humility |(h)yoōˈmilitē|

noun

a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness. 

The first word I pulled from my deck of magic spirit cards was humility.  I looked it up in the dictionary. I wasn't sure how it related to my question, or my life.

The dictionary defintion didn't help.  Should I be more humble, or was I too humble? I read the little instruction sheet that came with the cards, it suggested if you need help to understand just choose another card.

I shuffled the deck and spread them out face down, closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind.  I reached out, this time with my left hand, and chose my second card, and got humility again. Was this some kind of cosmic joke?  Strange as it sounds I did it again, this was an ongoing saga. 

I turned the deck over and organised them into alphabetical order. I discovered my deck had two humility cards. I felt honoured and cheated. I’ve always appreciated flaws, but couldn't my flaw be something more positive and simple, like balance or harmony?

My quest for understanding was ignited. First I thought about returning the deck, it was faulty could I replace them?  Instead I decided it was a gift, a reflection of me that needed exploring. 

I pulled out a Thesaurus. Was I too humble and modest or too proud, vain and overbearing?  Was I all of these things, at different times, with different people? Was it positive or negative - did humility actually have two meanings, or did I just have to learn twice as much?

I devoted a lot of time to asking people what they thought humility meant.  Most said humble, others said humiliation. I learned it could mean the opposite of glory. Should I lower my standards, or raise them higher? Am I being a servant instead of being of service?  Did I think I was better than everyone else or not honouring my own worth. Was I learning from people around me, or trying to hard to teach them a lesson? Was I being aggressive, assertive or far too submissive?

These two little cards, made me look deeper... I was all of those things, common and noble.  

My shortcomings are obvious and strengths are many, we are all equal, no more or no less.  All the positive and negative I see is just a reflection of me.  

My well used and abused deck with two doses of humiliy 

G is for Grateful - A-Z challenge - Words of change. Day 8

grateful -|ˈgrātfəl|

adjective

feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.

Thursday:  Stressed. At the Library - A book about Reiki lying flat on the shelf. It's a new word, thing, therapy -  so I read it that night.

Friday: At the cafe - Open a newspaper to an advertisement for a Reiki course that starts this weekend. It's being run by the same lady that wrote the book. I ring the lady, she says "you're welcome, it's never to late."

Saturday:  Arrive at retreat early, immediately surrounded by animals - including a kangaroo. I am in nature. Maybe, I might relax. I hope to relax.  Initiated, dream of a lion roaring and a wolf watching.

Sunday:  Time to do yearly meditation, find a sound and choose a significant word. Lovely relaxing meditation. All I hear is birds - "shut up birds I'm trying to meditate."  

I  ask the lady "Am I doing it right? Everybody can hear the birds, we are in the bush, they are outside the window, not in my head -  "Should I've heard an AUM or a tone, something more... enlightening."

She smiles and says "You're doing just fine."

I reach into the bag and choose my word.

Grateful?

"what does that mean, should I just say thank you more often, don't I say it enough, and what sort of bird was that, how will I know if it's the right bird?"

Again she smiles "Give yourself time - you're doing just fine"

Long drive home. Sunset behind me.

Monday: – Wake up in my own bed, my room is a mess, I dread the thought of going to work. Through the noise, I hear a reminder to remember my word.  I'm grateful.... that I start work late and can lie here a bit longer...

More birds chatter and sing their songs, they never stop. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I sleep - chirping whistling chipping, clucking, tsipping, peeking, trilling, cheeping, cooing and cawing, be grateful, be grateful - Every day, week, month, year long, even at night, every single, silent, waking second of my year .

I'm grateful for concrete, I'm grateful for dust, I'm grateful for gifts and grateful for fazes, I'm so grateful for my tiny, one room apartment that has no balcony or air conditioning, because it is secure and shady.

I'm grateful Oprah taught millions of people to write a gratitude journal. I'm grateful for compliments and grateful for grateful and for all my 10 fingers that type what I think.

I'm grateful for every jerk I've been fortunate to meet, they taught me a lot about humanity and myself. I'm grateful for imagination and mind bending trips, and knowing what it means to be free. I'm grateful for fallen angels and people that can't find a job. I'm grateful for everybody, everything, and when I forget, I let birds remind me - again.

Even in moments filled with gloom, 'grateful' threw down the gauntlet to find gratitude.  It is hard to be angry at anything when you are in gratitude - Grateful taught me to be gentle, graceful, glamorous, gracious and good. It was gratifying and felt great... full. 

F is for freedom - A-Z Challenge - Words of Change. Day 6

freedom |ˈfrēdəm| 

noun

the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

Of all the stories I thought of today, one about an old lady that lived in a dementia ward keeps coming up - so I'll try to make it work - and just for a bit of fun, I'll try and use an F word in every sentence.

Florence was a 96 year old, fine featured polite lady.  She was on no medication, not even a vitamin or pain killer - this is rare amongst the feeble. At first glance it was hard to understand why she was being admitted to the dementia ward, her body was able and she appeared mentally stable. 

She was a suffragette, worked in factories, and an award winning artist. She still appreciated great works of art, but failed to recognised them as her own. She had Alzheimer's disease and had become a danger to herself, she got lost checking her mail and nearly died in a kitchen fire. For over 30 years she refused to leave home or give into the limitations of her disease. Her fox like ability to answer questions with questions, gave her the independence she desired. Her family, with best intentions, had to fool her into submission, and just this once, they hoped it was something she would forget.

A dementia ward is a safe place, all doors are fastened. The staff to resident ratio could be better, but most are designed to feel like a home. If you've never been to a dementia ward, or are suddenly forced to live in one, it can be frightful. Adults with child like minds, that never get smarter, forget their manners and where to put faeces. Florence was very afraid. The first few days she graciously asked to go home, and every night she would wait by the door, ready to be picked up or let out. After a week she became frantic, whenever a guest came to visit, she asked, begged and pleaded "please help me escape, I want to be free"

Florence eventually found freedom in safety, by smashing the little glass window that says 'BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY'.  A state of the art security system was no match for Florence.  The sirens wailed, and all the doors and gates automatically unlocked. While staff tried to find the source of the flames Florence, the fearless, escaped to find freedom.

We finally found Florence outside taking a rest and waiting for...something she couldn't remember. She agreed to come 'home' because she was freezing. We requested more staff so we could focus on her movements - but that was never going to happen. The solution was an automatic sliding door to a fenced in courtyard, which meant she (and the other residents) had access to the outside world, with out needing to ask for permission. Yes, she was trapped by her failing cognition but her legacy includes, first-place for freedom.

***

Nelson Mandela - His Royal Highness the Majesty of Freedom deserves a mention, but for Florence, it means accepting responsibility for everything that happens in your life and letting go of all of your self imposed limitations. Allowing yourself to think, feel and say what you want, instead of what is expected. Simply, give yourself freedom to be you. 

***

Is freedom 'just another word for nothing left to lose?'  Probably, but that just means we

have nothing to worry about. 

E is for Embrace - A-Z challenge - words of change. Day 5

embrace |emˈbrās|

noun

an act of accepting or supporting something willingly or enthusiastically 

When we embrace everything, we empower ourselves to enthusiastically explore, and eventually extend our extraordinary experiences, without embarrassment. - (Do I get bonus points for 10 E words in one sentence?) 

Common questions like - Is it the right job/colour/course/person for me? - require a yes or no answer.  If I chose Embrace, from my little deck of Magic Spirit Cards, it meant YES.  It might not end up feeling like the right job, or man, but embracing it meant, I should choose to do it wholeheartedly, and there are lessons in everything we choose to do, and how we choose to do them. 

If I used the deck for a general reading, and embrace presented itself, it always felt like a gift.  A virtual hug. It made me feel loved, supported and at ease. When the Captain came back into my life, after 11 years, I felt the same way.  His embrace, even before we were in the same hemisphere was enveloping, and we were 16,000 km (10,000 miles) apart.  At first, I embraced our chats on facebook and msn, because it felt safe to love and be loved by someone so far away.  My decision to be single forever was non-negotiable, a long distant love affair seemed a perfect solution. 

When he first came to visit me we immediately embraced. Our knees touched and I surrendered, yet, before he flew away, I tried to let him go - again.  Yes - we had embraced everything, but the distance between Denmark and Melbourne seemed impossible - to be together and so far apart could only be painful.  He wasn't letting me quit that easily.  He knew what he wanted and he was determined to find a way to get it.  His quest was never a question, his dedication and devotion made it so easy for me to destroy my, "non"- negotiable contract, and embrace a life together with him.

Embrace your choices, - embrace the possibility of a good life, embrace your family and friends.  Embrace your silent space within.  

A shout out to my friend Miss Bates at embrace.yourself - I'm almost 20 years older than her, she's on my anywhere/anytime list.  The moment she heard me speak she knew we could be great friends.  A kindred spirit.  We appear so different - tall/short, thin/chunky, classic/exotic beauty (depending on whose judging, the beauty is interchangeable) but our heart songs are the same.  We are both youthful and mature.  Honestly though, her lanky legs and my short stature, makes hugging a little awkward, but we embrace each other emotionally, elegantly, exquisitely endlessly with eloquence.  (only 6 in that one)

Are you looking for an answer to a closed question?  If you landed here today then the answer is Yes - Embrace it.  :)

D is for Dreams. A-Z challenge. Words of Change Day 4

Dream |drēm|

verb

indulge in daydreams or fantasies, typically about something greatly desired.

My childhood summers were spent at Elwood Beach, on Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay. Every morning we arrived before the Life Saving club opened and only left when the night air made us shiver, a storm threatened to batter us, or we ran out of food. The ocean and sand provided relief from each other. Mum (with flawless skin) always sat in the shade of the beach umbrella making sure we behaved. It was our summer house, without walls. If the car broke down we took the bus, it was the best Papa could do.

I spent countless hours on the shore burying my feet in the sand, staring at the horizon, dreaming about what was happening on the ships I saw in the distance. Where did the sea end? Was it a giant waterfall, the end of the world, or just a place where ocean met the sky?  What sort of people lived and worked on those ships?  I wondered where they came from and imagined where they were going.

Once, feeling adventurous, I borrowed a rubber tube and floated on currents, south towards Tasmania, Australia's island state. I had a nap, and when I woke up the shore was on the horizon. I was still in the bay but a long way from home. I had no idea which way to go.  I asked a boat load of partying strangers to point me in the right direction. I paddled back fast, anticipating a search party, I got quite a surprise. My family was unaware, napping or just opening their eyes.  I kept my adventure a secret and continued to fantasise.

Many summers later I eventually made my way to Tasmania, where Crown Princess Mary of Denmark was born and where I met my Danish Captain. I sailed there hundreds of times, on a big ship, my first job at sea. Beyond the horizon lay untamed, frozen Antarctica. I met scientists that travelled there, and sailors who described their heroic adventures, sometimes over a drink, sometimes over more.

A few more summers passed, and I was about to sail through The Suez Canal - west bound on the first leg of a record breaking voyage, that took me around the world.  Gazing at the desert that connected two seas, I remembered my childhood dreams. Unfinished dreams, created out of boredom and curiosity. My dear parents had sailed these same waters, east towards the rising sun, to the lucky country, almost 40 years before me. My father dreamed a family that spent summers by the sea, my mother was seasick, unable to sleep. Now, here I was, re-tracing their wake, far beyond the horizons of Port Phillip Bay.

***

Mum always said "if you are bored, you are boring," so I just keep dreaming... which is not easy with playstations, wii's and bla bla bla going all the time = please, find time to let your children dream.

***

Did you know that if you look at your feet during a dream you can control your direction?

***

Indigenous dreaming: Lizard medicine.

Lizard was tired and decided to rest in the shade of snakes rock. When snake returned she said "Surely you know I can eat you?" Lizard opened his eyes, "Yes indeed I do, but before I went to sleep I dreamed your belly was full."

  

C is for Clarity . A-Z word challenge. Words of change

clarity |ˈklaritē|

noun
the quality of being clear

I once did  an American Indian Sun/Moon Dance -I danced forward and back to a totem pole for 3 days and nights. The shelter was meagre, no food or talking allowed. We were given a whistle made of Turkey bone, to blow while we danced, and half a cup of water. The goal was to cleanse our body, minds and souls, so we could receive a vision.  

I danced to the sound of a beating drum. I sucked air and moisture through the weeping whistle and the smell of burning sage satisfied my cravings. I cleared out a lot of poop. Outdoors, in a deep hole until I felt hollow like the whistle - in a good way, empty, clean and finally free of sadness.  My vision went like this.

Imagine a 12 year old American Indian girl - like Hiawatha or Pocahontas. Tiny, with two long plaits, a headband, bare feet and tan leather clothes. My father was preparing for his journey to a Sundance. I wanted to go but women were forbidden. I knew I was brave enough so I decided to go. I hid as we journeyed to the sacred site, and I took my place in the circle before he did.

No-one said a word. I was allowed to stay. They admired my cheek, underrated my power and, at times, a predator was enchanted by my sensuous dance.  Hundreds of years later, similar faces dancing a journey, smoking their pipes, letting me write, leaving me be. On the third day, curious and weary I dropped and they claimed I was Holy. I  was given a white robe and shown how the women became welcome. My gift was to see the result of my childhood defiance, hundreds of years ago, still nobody knew it was me.

After it ended a predator was lurking. He said "Your dance was mesmerising, I feel a connection" - from a past life no less - "Can I give you a massage?" - The, take your clothes off, nobody is watching, it's only natural, kind.  I told him with clarity it wasn't my vision. I cleared out and drove two hours home, blissfully cleansed (it really was a lot of poop).  I was on a different path - Nothing from the past could hurt me, and nothing imagined is real.  I was dancing to the beat of my own drum.

Clarity, Clearing and Cleansing - Call on frog medicine to bring on tears, water and rain. Plenty of tears, let them flow - without interruption. Do a ritual (or go to a spa, much nicer - same price), do a fast, go for a swim, do a colonic irrigation, anything to do with water will help - this is another foot bath reminder. Don't let a fear of emptiness overcrowd you. Experience the joys of feeling hollow and clear. With clarity comes vision.

If we pollute our body we pollute the planet. If you're bloated or blocked - Is clarity calling?


**The colonic irrigation link is for people seeking more information (inc. video).  I worked at the clinic for some years in Melbourne, Australia -   and it's C day - Colonic starts with a C :)**

B is for Balance - A-Z word challenge - words of change

balance |ˈbaləns|
noun
1. an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady

Thanks Open Clipart

- You need skill to centre yourself and achieve perfect balance, but nothing much happens there. Too still, too perfect and you're in the dead zone. Imbalance, only one slight movement away. It's more fun to reach high, but you will need support, a counter balance. The beauty of balance is in the movement, the balancing act. Relaxed and efficient. Still and moving. Just like a see-saw but without the hippo on it.

If I was to pick my Balance card today, I would use it to remind me to do balance based activities like a yoga, pilates, or stretching videos - or waterskiing -  If I had a boat and the fjord wasn't frozen.

If my reflexology clients chose Balance, I would tell them, that I just wrote a blog about balance and they should read it! Then I'd take care to balance all of their systems, find the pulsing points and wait for their rhythms to change. I'd do lots of rocking movements and make sure I did both feet exactly the same.

Some other thoughts on Balance:

- Even after a rough start, only a swinging pendulum is truly balanced - or it ceases to function.

- Comedy is a balance act between tragedy and timing, but the goal is always therapeutic.

- Balance your health with the seven natural doctors - Sunshine, fresh air, water, nutritious food, laughter and movement. Whether you are trying to balance a bank account, or the demands of everyday living remember to balance your life with things that are important to you, nurture yourself with natural doctors  -or  at least  give your feet a soak in a foot bath - add some salts, herbs/spices or lemons, aromatherapy oils, or just a nice smelling soap - now :)

For basic lessons in balance observe nature.

Are you prepared to be your own counterbalance?


B Cn u at C

A is for Abundance. A-Z challenge - Words of change -

abundance |əˈbəndəns|
noun: a very large quantity of something 

My abundance story is a bit 'special' - because it has to do with hearing voices while I was in a New Age shop, looking for a bell.  I saw and was about to touch it, when a message, in my head, said "Everything you need you already have." It was a gentle, calm male voice, not just a memory of my mum telling me not to touch everything.

No point looking over my shoulder, this speaker was in my brain. I was curious, and a little spooked. I didn't buy the bell.  I never heard that message again, but I thought about it every time I looked at bells, shoes, junk food or anything else I didn't really need.

Fast forward 3 months and still no bell, the market season was coming to an end, and the message still made no sense until early one Autumn morning. My neighbour, a big punch drunk sailor, came to visit me after his 4 month trip to Europe, with a gift. He was a man of few words, especially when he was sober. "This is for you, I thought you might like it"

His carefully wrapped gift was unexpected. I had sailed with him a few times and helped him seal the deal on his apartment but I was surprised to even get a visit. I screamed with delight when I unwrapped the present and saw my new bell.  He's not into 'the hocus pocus' but he thought it was strange, both the voice and that he had bought me the bell. It's old fashioned looking, painted light green with a wooden handle. It wasn't anything like the bells I had seen, but 3 months ago my guiding voice was right. I did already have what I needed, it was already mine just in another part of the world. My perfect bell,  it's tone, and the memory, are both lasting.

"Everything you need you already have." 

If you're reading this blog then you have abundance in your life.  Can't find a new outfit, it's fine to wear an old one.  Can't find your shoe size, there's a better pair for you, somewhere else.  Feeling jealous that someone else is succeeding - scarcity is invading your thoughts.  There is always plenty of what we need, for everyone, and with the right attitude you can have some too.  Give with abundance, but please don't be greedy, take only what you need.

If you're not getting what you want, can't do it, afraid of it, miserable or apathetic your forgetting abundance, (not all the good ones are taken or gay - they just might look a little different to what you expected :)) -

If your visiting from the A-Z challenge I wish you an abundance of inspiration.  

Are you a bit 'special'?  What have your voices told you?

Two days to go. Copenhagen, theatre and drama.

Two days to go till the A-Z blogging Challenge  begins.  Check out my A-Z challenge - words of change - list here.  I've managed to write and schedule my first four posts - what a relief.  I will be going to Copenhagen for a few days in April, to see this years, Wallmans Show in the Circus building, it's a yearly tradition we have with the Captains parents,  it includes lots of 'festivities', and it's hard to keep up with Danes when they are being festive.  It's nice to know I'm a little ahead of schedule.

Hopefully I will get a couple more posts done over the weekend.  My only problem is that having my words sitting there waiting to be published, makes me want to edit and delete a lot.  I am really trying to keep every post at around 400 words.  If I can drop that down to 200 even better, but it's not easy.  When those memories start flowing, the stories start growing.  The point of this exercise, for me, is to find a style and voice I am comfortable with, I also want to have some fun in Blog land and connect with other people.

When the whole Internet and chat room phenomena first started I always said I would never make friends with people online because I had enough drama in my real world. I'm amazed at how opposed I can be to the very things I desire most.  It also took me 11 years to realise that the Captain was the perfect man for me.  I am so glad the only theatrics in my life now are in historic buildings with great performers, in places like Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen.  No more drama's only seasons.

A totally unrelated question but one that keeps popping up for me.  Do you like Captains name?  What do you call your partner?

A-Z challenge list. Words of change.

My little deck of Magic Spirit Cards have been around for a long time. Each card is about the length and width of two fingers, small enough to fit in my hand luggage so they have travelled all over the world with me. I wished they weren't called Magic Spirit Cards, so I created my own decks, called Magic Moments - but I didn't really like that name either.

They are just words, typed on the back of small cards, not tarot cards, but I have used them to do readings, and yearly, weekly or daily meditations.

I have, at times, used them obsessively, to the point of distraction, and frustration too - when I didn't get the word I was hoping for, or worse still - the word I was dreading.

I don't remember where I got them, the only trademark or name on them is a drawing of  a sun with the letter 'e' in it, (I'll post a photo in an update).  I don't know who created them, but whoever it was - Thank You - because they have given me lots of stories.

I use them now for sentimental sake, if I am quiet long enough I know exactly what word to use.

In honour of my Magic Spirit Cards I dedicate my  A-Z challenge blogs to the words that changed me.


The deck has 49 cards remaining in it, and the list already has close to 80 words.  I will choose one from each letter for the challenge in April, and lets just say, I'm pretty pleased that I have fodder for the next few months lying in this list, and I know I will add to it.

Words in black are from the Magic Spirit Card deck.  There are a few letters of the alphabet missing, so the red words fill in the gaps, which I found while trawling the net on this very helpful emotional identifier list.  The green words have been sumbitted in the comments.

I chose positive words that jumped out at me. I will save the negative's for after the challenge. I can see myself referring to this list a lot.

I'm really surprised by the three *** marked words that weren't in the deck,  I must have lost them, or maybe they are bookmarks in some of my favourite books.

Action
Aliveness
Abundance  - A is for Abundance Day one

Beauty
Balance - B is for Balance day 2
Bliss

Courage
Consciousness
Clarity - C is for Clarity Day 3
Communicate
Contentment: submitted by Life is Good

Discovery
Dream - D is for Dream Day 4

Embrace***   E is for Embrace Day 5
Experience
Extraordinary

Forgive
Freedom - F is for Freedom Day 6

Give
Grateful  - G is for Grateful

Harmony
Heart
Humility x 2 - H is for Humility

Intuition I is for Intuition
Imagine
Immaculate
Integrity

Joy- (Joie d' vivre) - 

Knowledge
Kaleidoscope: submitted by Writer-in-transit 

Love
Laughter

Movement
Magic

Nurture
Nifty
Nuance: submitted by Writer-in-transit 

Okay
Open
Ownership

Purpose
Prosperity
Pleasure
Perception
Psyche: submitted by Susan Scott
Phantasmagoric: submitted by Shannon Lawrence at  The Warrior Muse

Quiet***
Question
Quote: Submitted by Susan Scott

Respect
Receive
Responsible
Release 

Simplicity
Spirit
Sexuality
Surrender
Serenity
Sensuality
Success
Synchronicity: submitted by Susan Scott
Serendipity: submitted by Writer-in-transit

Tenderness
Think:  submitted by Hilary Melton-Butcher at Positive Letters...inspirational stories...
Truth
Transmute
Tryst: submitted by Writer-in-transit
To-get-her - Just because it's the working title of the book I'm writing :)

Universal
Understand***


Vivacious
Vibrant: submitted by Writer-in-transit

Willing
Wild
Watchful
Wonder
Warrior: submitted by PV Ariel (Phil)

from xoxo to XD
xanadu
Xerox: submitted by Klahanie

Youthful
Yearning
Yield

Zen 
Zany 
Zealous
Zippy



Please let me know in the comments, if you've got a favourite word (and why), that I can add to the list.




A-Z Challenge List

Healing with feeling words.

lo·qua·cious   - talkative, chatty,

I remember the first time someone used the word loquacious to describe me, it felt like a nasty judgement, an unqualified diagnosis of mental illness, maybe the look of disaproval had something to do with it.  It means 'talks a lot', and plenty of people have pointed their finger at me for talking too much. I admit it, I was uncontrollable, some people even fell asleep while I was talking to them.  I was uncomfortable with silence, and I tried to fill it.

There is a whole industry based on Talking the pain away,  there's even scientific studies to prove it actually works.  When I couldn't talk I wrote, and when I didn't write, I put up a literal smoke screen around me, with whatever I could, whenever I could. When I was with my dear ex, who encouraged everyone to talk out their problems, I stopped writing.  At first I thought it was because I was happy and had nothing to complain about. I realise now, that I was hiding the truth.

So many of my clients have had problems with talking - I always consider it a breakthrough when they start discussing the people in their lives, particularily the ones that annoy them... it's our relationships that bring out the best and worst in us, and tapping into those emotions is a path to healing.  Sometimes I think my penance for talking so much is listening, and I love it.  Some people are really afraid to share their thoughts/feelings and that's when writing becomes the key.  Better out than in.

Perhaps I should have saved this for my L post during the A-Z challenge, but it isn't a word in the 'magic spirit card' deck I'm using and there are so many other L words on my list like Love, Laughter and Linger.

Let it Go

Let it go,
Let it out,
Let it all unravel,
Let it free
And it will be
A path on which to travel.

One of my favourite Leunig cartoons and poem.




 

Writing helps me.

Registering for the A-Z challenge has already changed my perspective. I've gone from total avoidance to -  I can't wait till the 1st of April to start writing.  I just now figured out now - I don't have to wait!

I started this blog 3 years ago, and have managed to ignore it so well that I stopped feeling the guilt about not pursuing it further, and even thought I forgot it existed on my 'to do' list.

There seems to be lots of 'unwritten' rules about blogging, and so many options it all became too hard/boring/useless - I couldn't be bothered... There has also been a hefty dose of self criticism about the value of my words and thoughts.  It's one thing for someone to approach me for access to my own stories thoughts and feelings but is it egotistical to put them out there for everybody to read, most of all the people I know?

If other people can do it, I know I can too, but is it necessary?  Hasn't it all been said and done before? What if I succeed and have to do book tours and be recognised,  I'll have to lose weight and buy more new clothes...  ramble ramble ramble *gets off track - forgets blog*

3 years of ignoring it meant 3 years of self harassment. The load has suddenly become lighter.

I forgot that I started it just because I wanted to write - do what you love and the money will follow, right? I used to write a journal in my twenties and no longer cringe at the cringeworthy bits, I love them. I never knew what I needed, but I knew how I wanted to feel and I'm on the right track. By my standards I'm doing better than expected.  Writing helped me get here.

Now I'm living in a foreign country it's not easy to communicate myself while trying to grasp a new language, but in some ways it's easier, you can't hide behind a wall of spoken words, you have to listen. You have to do, rather than say.  Body language and expressions speak volumes, and so do other people if you let them.

I've had a lot of time to reflect, now I'm ready to share.

A-Z

Time for a new challenge, after Nanowrimo I have been off the writing wagon.  Time to get back on again and the A-Z blog challenge looks like fun, as well as a good excuse to finally get this blog moving.

Blog everyday in April except Sundays, and it has to be A-Z, theme or no theme is up to the blogger/writer.  I am pretty sure I will choose a Magic Spirit Card word each day, Abundance, beauty, calm etc etc... and the stories I associate those words with.  A journey into emotions, metaphysics and healing. With any luck I might end up with fodder for a self help book, or at least a theme for my next novel...

Want to join in?  Here's the sign up link. A-Z sign up

A timely reminder. Coincidence, luck and miracles.

Writing my thoughts comes naturally to me, so does sitting on the sofa and doing nothing at all, it's all to easy for me to get distracted by my thoughts. I almost forgot about this blog.  This time I received a reminder from Kevin Kunz, find his blog here, a leading authority in reflexology, for more info here's a wikipedia link.  Kevin also has a very interactive facebook page, and his latest status about how 'all reflexolgists should become writers or risk their experiences being lost forever', provided me with some much needed inspiration. Call it coincidence, synchronicity, miracle messages or luck, but just as I was filing enthusiasm for my newly created blog to a blind corner of my brain, he posted that status update.

I thanked him, then upon reflection, realised once again, that most of my experiences are in fact a collection of co-incidences. Including recently one of my new friends in Denmark knowing a woman, who is about to open a new massage clinic, 5 minutes from my home, and just happens to be looking for a reflexologist.

Reflexology is quite popular in Denmark, my Søren even recalls his mother taking him to one when he was a child, over 30 years ago.  My decision to move here was made even easier knowing that my speciality is somewhat understood here.  In Melbourne I had struggled with the idea of where to set up business, again my sense of never really knowing where I belonged took over, so I preferred to do home visits, saw a few clients in my own home and also the few different clinics where I worked, as either a nurse or colon hydrotherapist.  I would often meditate or ponder the question of where to set up, and would only ever get the vague response that I should head North. Well Denmark is about as for North on the planet as you can get from Melbourne, and it still amuses me that I never guessed this far North was the answer.

I started reflexology in my late 20's, at a time when my stress levels were affecting my mental health, grounding myself and learning how to relax was a neccesity and became my number one priority.  I, like so many other people, once hated my feet with a passion, but working the feet seemed as logical a place as any to start the process of grounding and a much needed change because my head, heart (and hormones) were too messed up. As I was searching for the right course I co-incidently found a course for a hospital based nursing traineeship, that also paid me to study. So I studied nursing and reflexology at the same time and discovered that neither would have made much sense to me, if I had not balanced what I refer to as, health and healing, the science and art of medicine and wellbeing.  

Even though there is plenty of valid research, there is also a lot of skepticism about reflexology. I guess it makes no sense to some people that everything is connected.  A lot of what we do is felt, and it is not so easy to describe a feeling, but with a bit of practice it is a skill that anyone can learn to do. There is relatively little scientific evidence that supports the reflexes on the feet, however fMRI scans have proved that working an area of the foot activates the part of the brain that corresponds with the specific part of the body related to that reflex, fMRI test results. Simarlarily, Father Josef, another leading reflexologists, discusses in his courses the chinese autopsies that have also revealed a hardening of specific reflexes related to illnesses people have died from. Perhaps for some, everytime a reflexologist pin points a significant ailment or emotion, through the feet, can be described as miracle or coincidence, but the accuracy of these so called coincidences is a science in itself.  Like the time I could only feel one kidney reflex on a client and discovered later that she had her kidney removed some 50 years earlier, to name just one example.

Coincidences, luck and miracles really are the same thing.  Meeting someone at the right time is  both a co-incidence and a miracle. We can brush these situations aside and realise nothing or embrace them as opportunites to learn from ourselves, the people around us, and perhaps even make a difference to the lives of many.  

Inspired by a friend and her painting

Here are the messages that inspired continuing the blog.  I have edited them a little but just a spelling mistake or two.

The artist is Lea Waters a psychologist, who heads an innovative academic project that I believe will ultimately challenge the way we view education systems.  Her knowledge about human behaviour, both scientific and sensitive is vast, and she is mum with two kids that finds time to paint. 

Lea was a reflexology client of mine in Australia, one that factored highly in the difficult decision process of leaving everything I had established behind.  I met Lea during her 'sabattical year'. A year off, from her work commitments, to focus on her health and set a new direction for her life, and she decided reflexology would be a part of that healing and discovery process.  One of the most miraculous qualities about Reflexology is the exchange that can happen between the receiver and the giver.  Lea was one of my rare clients that essentially make me work a little bit harder, but only so I would feel like I had given her more, or at least as much, as she had provided me during the sessions. 

Lea Waters 08 September at 10:45

hey sweety, for some reason the painting I just posted up on fb makes me think of you????? I'll put some thought into why that is......

Artist: Lea Waters - I call it Lea's Desert but maybe I should call it My Desert!

Ida Chiavaro 09 September at 12:39

I would love to know your thoughts...

It has been very thought provoking for me, which I love :)

On one hand I feel like I'm in that house, both trapped and hiding in a land that has very little to offer - a psychic warned me before I left, that the 3 and 6 months mark would be challenging and last week (3 month mark) some fears about never finding my niche here reared their ugly heads.

I am still very happy here with Søren. I don't want to be anywhere else, well maybe at times I do, but I want to be with him wherever that is :) but as I settle more into my relationship I am thinking more about my own needs, my own goals (or the fact that I have never really had any!!!)

On the other hand, I see the warmth and grounding energy of the  deserts earth and the ingenuity and simplicity of shelter and power (windmill) and the opportunity to focus, that a world with few distractions can provide more easily, and the big clear sky that connects all the worlds together.

As simple as it is, I feel as though I am living a luxurious lifestyle at the moment. I have met other foreigners including a refugee from Sri Lanka and a couple of Thai brides in my language classes, this picture makes me think about pioneering women. It makes me think of home too, which even though Ive never lived in the Australian outback, it feels like home to me :)

I often think of your 'sabatical' year and how that culminated in your new years revelations and I wonder if a 'light bulb' moment will set me off in the right direction. I worry about not finding myself here and needing to leave 'my desert shack', that being a foreigner is just too hard an obstacle to overcome, and the devastating effect that would have on my blissful relationship, but I also doubt I would feel any different if I was living on familiar turf. It's a sense of 'not belonging' that has always been a part of who I am.

Writing to you now is stirring up some inspiration, even if it is just to start writing a blog about my experiences...the idea of writing has been gnawing away at me for a while now. Even just about simple things like needing to hem a skirt and wanting to ring my mum for some sewing lessons, before realising that she lived for 15 years as an immigrant with no support network and no way of communicating with her family except by mail... that it took 3 weeks for her to find out her father died and she had so little money that sewing clothes for her 3 children was her only option... :)

Yes your picture has definitely been thought provoking and perhaps just that you mentioned to me that you think of me when you look at it is all that I need to know :)

I hope you are well.

Thanks so much it has been a pleasure sharing my thoughts with you.

Big hugs

Ida

Lea Waters 12 September at 11:42

Wow, you write beautifully Ida. You should certainly start a blog - it will benefit both yourself and others. I wasn't sure why the painting made me think of you but I realise now, after reading your thoughts, that the painting was meant to help act as a trigger for you to put voice to all your feelings right now (at the 3 month mark). You've clearly been doing a lot of reflecting on your life and the lives of those you love, like your mum. I relate to that sense of not belonging and I think that this is a common experience for people who are further along the spiritual journey than most.....we've chosen to be here on earth and yet we know deep down that there is a higher place where we belong. The ultimate truth is that you are eternal and it doesn't matter where you are, you are always HOME.

Lots of love,

Lea

Ida Chiavaro 12 September at 14:10

Dearest Lea,
Your message made me smile from deep inside ... and it seems the catalyst that removed the 'veil of the 3 month mark'! :)

Now some research on Blogs and perhaps how to make money from them is my mission for today... and more frustratingly and I'm sure the reason for me stalling this long is what to call it?

Pieces of Home perhaps?

....Reflections from home or Reflex Reaction - oddly enough my first reflexology pamphlet had that name :)

I love your work Lea you are the Master Inspirer, I hope you are achieving maximum fulfillment and success with your missions and goals right.

As usual a pleasure talking and thinking about you

Lots of Love to you too

Ida

Lea Waters 13 September at 13:04

So nice to know you are smiling on the inside again. Can't wait to read your blog. All the options you've suggested for a title are good.

I'm flattered to be known as a master inspirer.

My life is good - lots of interesting 'external opportunities' have arisen this year and I am sure it is b/c I took the year off last year and did some necessary inner work. All the opportunities involve me pursuing my career in a way that has a high degree of social value and has a wide social reach. My challenge is to not take on too much!!!!


I am getting better at checking in with myself.

Lots of love,

Lea

Ida Chiavaro 18 September at 14:42

Lea can I use the dessert picture in my blog and would you mind if I used some of the dialogue in these messages above for one of my posts. I am happy to keep you completely anonymous or if you prefer set up links to your course or other artwork (if i can work out how to!!! I have started experimenting with a blog at

http://idachiavaro.blogspot.com/


After spending several hours ( I have a lot of time to spare!) I figured I should just start somewhere, so went back to an attempt I made months ago at googles blogspot, but I think there are better sites available.

Reflex Reactions

idachiavaro.blogspot.com

Realising upon reflection, that I had a sign or message of things to come but only understand what it all means once I get there...

Share

Lea Waters 19 September at 02:16

Go for it girlfriend :-)

I don't need anonymity.

________________________________________________________________

Well there it is. 

Truth is, the blog idea was inspired because while I was writing my response I deleted twice as much as what I finally wrote. I didn't want the message to be too long, and knowing how busy Lea is I considered she might not have the time to read it all.  

A blog is perfect this way I can write it all down and if someone has the time and is interested they can read away... and maybe smile too.

Best wishes 

Ida