#atozchallenge 2014 Reflections post

I survived the 2014 A to Z Challenge did you?

There's a few too many people who deserve extra mentions for me to list them all here.

In general thanks need to go out to -

Arlee Bird and the co-hosts (and their helpers) - a lot of effort goes into keeping the sign up list tidy.

People who shared posts and left comments (so many were heart warming)

Organisers and participants of the #AZChat on twitter  (leading up to and during the challenge)  It was a great initiative and certainly improved the social/interactive aspect of this years challenge.

The challenge is certainly a great source of information and inspiration as far as improving the overall look and feel of a new blog too.

My most successful post was my theme reveal post.  The hop within a hop - another great idea.  Makes me wonder about the benefits of a smaller hop. This years #Atozchallenge 'festival' attracted over 2000 followers. *crowd cheers*

It was overwhelming.  I found it impossible to keep up the pace I set in the first couple of weeks and was grateful that I had scheduled the tail end of the alphabet before the challenge started.  Otherwise I might have dropped out.

A big congratulations to everyone involved.


My theme this year was '26 Greatest loves of my life.'  Below are the links and a brief explanation of each post -


26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Adam
5 years old - who wants to play kiss chasey?

26 Greatest loves of my life - Lets call him Baranaby
6 years old - risk taker.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Cazaly
Love me - love my football team

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Dog
I was surprised by the amount of tears - mine and the commenters.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Erik
There can only be one number 1

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Father
Seems a lot of people wish they had a Dad just like mine.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Geronimo
First embarrassing kiss moment.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call them Hormonal teenagers
keeping my love hormones to myself until I sorted out the brutes from the gentlemen.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call her Ida
What's in a name - A lot if your name is Ida

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Jeremiah
A girls best friend... is sometimes a man.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him Ken
His Mother put an end to this budding romance.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call it a Love song
A real love song - from a friend... written, recorded, perfumed, and you-tubed :)

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call her Mama
Pearls of wisdom because there isn't enough words.

26 Greatest loves of my life... Nature
Nurture nature = nurture yourself.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Oh my Odin
Riské but worth it.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Peridot
Adult love

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call it Quiet I'm reading
Confessions of a reader.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call it Reflexology
Soul to sole.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Sherlock
Hard to resist.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call The Truth
Fundamental.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Ulysses
1 heart = 3 hearts

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Vent
Forgive and forget.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call them Wazza and Wyn
Write wrong to right wrong.

26 Greatest loves of my life - sounds like X's
Ode to my exe's

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Yarra
Open your heart.

26 Greatest loves of my life lets call him Zoro
Save the best to last.

Thanks for joining me along the way.  I enjoyed sharing this part of my life with you.

Are you joining the A to Z challenge road trip?

Ida

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Lets call him... Zoro. #atozchallenge

He was 'knockin' at my door, ringing' my bell and tappin' my window too,'* and  I still didn't recognise him.  What I saw in front of me wasn't the man I thought I wanted... Maybe this is what 'love is blind' really means. He had no choice but to give up. 11 years later, when I had finally grown up, he returned. The timing was perfect.

It's the end of the alphabet but the beginning of my Greatest Love of all.

NB:  Sometimes you have to the cut it.

If ever a love there was, this is the easiest of them all.

"Because, because, because, because -

Because of the wonderful things he does."**

Zoro is of course The Captain, My Captain- you can read a snippet of our love story in the 'about me' section under the title of this blog.  For the whole story, you have to wait until my WIP (currently titled 'To-get-her') becomes an inspirational romance novel.

I'm telling the story from his perspective.  More people need to read about what goes on in the minds of men just like him.

His favourite Jim Rohn quote.  "When you know what you want, you'll find a way to get it."

He sails and see's lots of shooting stars. He wishes the same wish every time...I might name it 'Three stars one wish.'

Since our relationship began I have learned: The partner of your dreams doesn't always look/sound/dress/behave/act anything like you expected.

Dreams come true so make sure you're dreaming good ones.

I realise today that I wrote this entire theme for him.

5 years ago he sent me this song.

Today I'm sending it to him.

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Thanks for joining us during the #atozchallenge, I have been both busy and remiss (thanks Zoe) the last two weeks, but I'll pop in occasionally and see how you're doing.  See you at the reflections post. 

*lyrics from "I'm gonna knock on your door"

**lyrics from "We're off to see the wizard"

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him..Yarra #atozchallenge

Y

At 36, I was fast recovering from my favourite mistake. I had my dog and my tiny apartment in a big city and I was living next door to Ben Jackson, the DJ/musician who wrote me a love song.

Quite regularly I'd spend an hour or two at seedy nightclubs at one of his rave sets.

At that time of the night the silhouette of society gathers to the beat of the bass. The Rave culture cops a bad wrap but at the heart of the movement is music and the underlying principle is of Peace, Love, Unity and Respect (PLUR). I met a lot of grouse people of all ages. Some of them crawled right under my wings, others helped my fly. Yarra did both.

Image courtesy of www.publicdomainvectors.org

Yarra was a superb dancer, full of confidence and insecurities. We connected somewhere in the middle of our vast age difference. He gave me insight into the how the younger generation communicate. Constant text messaging. I could have been a Cougar, but there is no way I could have taken myself seriously. Our 'textashionship' was enough.

Image courtesy of www.clker.com

It came at a time when we both craved, and wanted to give, some attention... without the heartache.

Our private bubble. A connection to the world of 'I'm Okay - You're Okay.'

Over time, the hours between text messages grew longer apart. He's a Dad now and I moved far away to be with The Captain. We have Facebook. He approves of the name I chose for him.

Yarra is said to be a mispronounced aboriginal word that means 'ever flowing river.' It is the name of the biggest river that runs through our home town - the city of Melbourne.

Those text messages taught me to express myself, unguarded. Evidence of which can be seen in the hundreds of pages of dialogue between The Captain and I, before we lived on the same continent.

Successful flirting, for me, is the perfect balance of adventure and boundaries. It makes both the flirter and flirtee feel good about themselves.  It is tasteful and respectful.

Have you enjoyed harmless flirting or do you tame your flirt for fear of being misunderstood? Do you think flirtee should become an official relationship status?  He's my flirtee... it works for me.

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call them...sounds like X's #atozchallenge

Wow we are at X already.

This journey through the Greatest loves of my life started with an idea to write about all my ex boyfriends... so this is an ode to my eXes.

Somewhere between my childhood loves and greatest love all, I found writing about my exes tedious. I had to find other things to write about, like my dog, career, mum, dad and the world around me... but I did manage to clear up at least one remaining wound - so I'm claiming a victory.

There are plenty of people that got no mentions. Some I dated once (possibly the best night of my life.) Some lasted a Summer (or two) like a repeated holiday romance...

I can't remember how many times I have been proposed too.  The two earliest proposals were from guys I didn't even consider my boyfriends - I can't even remember their names - so they didn't get a mention either.

It used to annoy me that guys wanted to marry me. It made me feel less sexy. I didn't appreciate attracting marrying kinds when I was wild about the lead singer of the local club's band... and all he wanted was my friend.

I once believed I could die of a broken heart.  I still don't really understand what compels some young women to chase after bad boys, when all we really desire is a good guy. What I do understand is that women want to be loved... and men want to love them.  The second we start trying to force someone to make us feel how we want to feel - something is wrong.

Growing up I realised the pain I felt in the past was not caused by my exes but my own ego. The pain of a defeated ego doesn't compare to the pain of loss. The loss of beloved family members (including pets) and friends to accidents, suicide and illness.

It is true that each of my exes is still a part of me.  I remember kisses, lingering touches, places we visited and moments of truth with all of them... (I am aware that they remember too) Some of my exes I want to forget, some I want only the best for and at least one I know of, will just have to settle for what's best for them.

***

I'm just so glad I have never been married.

Why do you think some people have lots of relationships and others marry their first loves?
Is living together as big a commitment as marriage? Is it necessary to get married? If not for love than what are the other benefits of marriage? Why did you decide to marry?  If you have been married twice or more,  what made you decide to marry again?

I'm asking these questions because I have a hard time understanding why people do it.

I still do believe in love that lasts a lifetime. If mariage wasn't an expectation (and didn't save you money on taxes and insurance or help with visa applications) would you do it again and why?  

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P.s if you are on my email list - sorry about all the updates... I had no idea what direction this post was heading in when I started it.  

26 Great Loves of my life - Let's call them Wazza and Wyn... #atozchallenge

Wazza was a bonzer bloke. He didn't just help frail old ladies across the road, he carried them. He was a sculptor of metal and concrete, and a jack-of-all trades. Wyn was a marine steward whose car needed some minor repairs. Always on the look out to save some money she offered to clean his office in exchange for his time.

It was lust at first barter. The bingle that could have been fixed in a few hours ended up taking much longer. After all the cleaning and repairs were done Wazza personally delivered her fully re-sprayed good as new car to her apartment. She cooked him mango stuffed chicken breasts with a melody of spring vegetables and smashed potatoes.

Life's up and downs had taken their toll on Wyn. She was wary of men and some of their lecherous ways, but this sort of attention couldn't be ignored. Wazza was patient and persistent. After several months, and a few settled blues, they became a couple in love.

A year later he asked her to move into a new house with him. At the slightest suggestion she would think about it, he started moving her furniture out of the apartment. He was brave. At first she worried about protecting her assets then she embraced his enthusiasm. The procrastinator in her was in complete awe.

They moved into a mini mansion with a pool and hosted parties that lasted for days. They endured each others bad habits and encouraged each other to heal old wounds. They argued about manners and the future, sometimes for weeks. It was harsh at times but they always managed to talk about or laugh their problems away.

After a while his almighty laugh began to annoy her and their words became repetitive.

They were both unhappy. He ended the relationship. Wyn hated him for giving up, her family knew nothing of separations, commitments were meant to last. Wazza's family was a web of ex-inlaws and half brothers and sisters. He couldn't understand what she was trying to hold onto.

As the future began to take shape Wyn realised Wazza was right. Their relationship had passed its use by date and she was much better off without him. Wazza was cracking open another stubby when he heard Wyn had found love again.  He was happy for her and proud of his decision.

Have you been guilty of holding onto a person that is holding you back?

Can you look back on your time together and have a good laugh?

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26 Loves of my life - Let's call him...Vent #atozchallenge

I resisted every advance, but I enjoyed that he was advancing.

The attraction to his arms, was instant.

At first it was easy to say no.

He said he knew I wanted to be with him.

I didn't want him to be with anybody else.

I made deals with him I knew I couldn't keep.

He wished he had kept me a secret.


I discovered love can be a mental illness. Limerence, not love. Love is not always sacred or meaningful.  Sometimes it is used as a form of self deprecation - self abuse.

It was short lived, but if I could choose to forget one relationship this would be it.

Image courtesy of Wordporn

When one of my girlfriends told me that he had betrayed me, I didn't believe her at first.

I broke my own rules to be with him. I ignored the warning signs. I made excuses for him and pretended things that mattered, didn't. Who betrayed who?

The hardest lesson of my betrayal was self forgiveness. The reward was grace.

This love story is really about my girlfriend that was brave enough to tell me the ugly truth. I still love her.

Have you ever had to pay the price of betrayal?

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him... Ulysses #atozchallenge

I still have the love letters Ulysses wrote to me. I remember thinking I'd keep them as proof that I had at least once in my life, been loved.

He looked like James Dean, complete with Levis and white t-shirt.

There was a huge age difference between us. He was also a Dad with full custody of his two children.

I felt safe, happy too, but like I was just biding my time. We were together almost 3 years but he was a shift worker and I spent most of time working away at sea, month on and month off, with lots of travelling in-between.

He was right about our age difference in the end. I was in my early twenties and my desire for freedom was stronger than my desire for love. I wanted to love him more. When I realised I couldn't, I knew I'd cause more pain if I stayed.

image courtesy of clker.com

Breaking up with him was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life.  Leaving his young children and not explaining why was harder... I didn't fully understand why at the time.

Almost 20 years later, through the magic of facebook, I caught up with him and his children again. He's doing mighty fine. His son is a Dad now. His curious little girl is in her early twenties now.

I spent time catching up with her on Skype. We talked about the stray-cat I found that became their much loved family member for many years. We talked like women who had grown up together, or family members that hadn't seen each other in decades. It was a proud moment when she said the love we had shared was lasting.

I recall many woken nights spent wondering if I had made the right decision to leave him. The pull drawing me back towards him was a difficult force to resist.

Ulysses was a warrior in my mind, strong, dependable, a great Dad and a humble bloke. Just not my bloke.

I knew the journey could have been a good one, but the destination wasn't a place I could picture us being together.

Have you ever caught a train and realised you were on the wrong line?  Did you hit the emergency brakes or take in the view for a while?

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call it...The Truth #atozchallenge

Ever noticed when kids tell the biggest lies? They don't want to get in trouble, they want people to believe they are smarter or stronger than they really are, or that their life is fabulous when it's full of fear.

They want to be just like their parents (and their parents know everything). It seems logical to act as if you just know everything too. As children, lack of knowledge feels more like a weakness than an opportunity to learn something new.

There is evidence to suggest the more intelligent a child is the better they lie.  Perhaps Pinocchio is a better role model than we ever suspected.  I ask children if their story is made up, real or both. I tell them I love listening to all types of stories.  Fairytales are real to very young children. They don't know the difference between fact and fiction. (Neither do some sociopaths - not all lies are precious.)

clkr.com

I have a special relationship with Truth, all seekers do. I made a conscious decision to commit to telling the truth at the age of 18.  It took me a few years to break the habit of lying... I constantly would re-start sentences with - 'let me start again that was a complete lie.'

The most incredible thing occurred, people stopped believing me when I told the truth. I never had people question my lies, yet my truth was questioned all the time.  It seems I only told believable lies but my life stories were unbelievable...

It wasn't easy to tell the whole truth, sometimes it's still hard - especially when it's something you know will cause pain. Especially, if it's something you don't want to admit to yourself.  Especially, when you have done something wrong.

The truth is I can't be bothered writing much more about Truth. Like most things in life when you seek it - you will find it (and/or it finds you.)

My personal motto: Be true to yourself and honest to everyone else.

Has finding out the truth about someone's lies ever really shocked you?

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Lets call him Sherlock. #atozchallenge

Sherlock and I were workmates. We became friends. I didn't want to fall in love with him. I was convinced my heart still belonged to the Rooster. I have never fooled anyone, quite as well as I have fooled myself.

Unlike the Rooster, Sherlock was generous with his time and attention. He worked on the road, I was in charge of arranging his jobs. I lived close to the office. He began to visit during his breaks. It was convenient. He had a strong jaw and solid stature. We were both single. Well, technically he wasn't in a committed relationship.

He had two women in his life. One he couldn't let go of, and one he wanted to hold onto. They were unaware of each other, or that he chased every other woman he came into contact with.

clkr.com

We promised each other not to develop any strong feelings towards each other. Just hang out, morning coffees, drinks after work, fun. This is how I developed my rule of three. Whether it's a relationship, drinks or a kiss - after the third time, something changes.  Before you make your third move consider the consequences.

Here's a poem, inspired by Sherlock circa early 90's.

Two feet on the ground

your head in the air.

Searching for something

that will never be there.

You go out with strangers

and stay out till late.

Skull a few lagers

then call 'em your mates.

Lend a few promises.

Repeat a few lies.

Create misdemeanours

for the sake of no ties.

The journey to self
is hard for a while.

Start with the truth 

and feel your self smile.

It's no fun to be loved,

if love can't be seen.

Accept who you are, 

and what you have been.

Have you ever fooled yourself into loving the wrong person, at the wrong time, for all the wrong reasons?

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Reflexology. #atozchallenge

Happy feet. Happy people.

There are points on the feet that relate to the whole body. They are called reflexes. Reflexology is the study of those reflexes

The first time I tried Reflexology I didn't get excited but I was impressed that the Reflexologist could tell I had back trouble and hormonal issues, just from touching my feet.

I never saw her again, but I decided I wanted to know what she knew.

A step in the right direction.

I eventually enrolled at the Australian School of Reflexology and Relaxation. In 2003 I won Student of the year and the Trevor Steele memorial award. Since then I have worked with both longterm and short-term clients, sometimes as little as a few minutes.

I can tell a lot from your feet and hands.

The problem(s) with Reflexology.

MRI scans have shown the optical nerve light up when the eye reflex is worked, but there is no exacting science that proves there is a link between the point on your foot to the organ we say it is.

The other huge problem is there is no definitive map of the feet. They vary as much as the humans that produce them. Though, they are similar in sections. The toes generally represent the head, the balls are the upper torso, the arch - mid torso and the heels map the pelvis.  The left foot is the left side of the body. Right foot, right side. But our brain controls the opposite side of the body so I question this, at least for the brain reflex.

We disagree about firm pressure, gentle pressure or intuiting client needs. Sequences differ, as do the descriptions of how they work and what they are capable of.

There isn't enough research.

There's also the placebo effect to consider.

It doesn't alway fix what you want it to, sometimes it doesn't seem to work at all.

Perhaps the biggest problem is that a lot of people don't love their feet.

What I love about Reflexology is:

It gives me a reason to lay my hands on people, soul to sole.

In the beginning I keep an eye on the time. I treat both feet wholly and equally from top to bottom. I determine the primary reason for the visit and adapt a plan to suit it. We discover areas of tension and points that are sensitive or painful together. I let the feet tell their story. Every pair of feet have a story.

If your curious I explain as much as I can. Most of the time clients fall asleep, so I wait. I want it to be therapeutic and feel good. I compare the before and after of the feet and the way you walk and talk. I ask that you to do the same.

It's a complimentary medicine.  I've seen it reduce swelling, pain, asthma attacks and the heart rates of mothers-to-be and their unborn children. I've seen it improve sleep patterns, blood pressure and bowel movements. I know therapists who have built successful clinics treating allergies, childhood bedwetting and hormonal imbalance/fertility problems. Time and time again I've seen it reduce stress.

Positive research has shown the benefits of it's use in cancer treatment and palliative care.

It is an ancient therapy and both a science and an art.

Even if you don't like your feet, it feels good.  Just like pedicures or foot baths feel good. Only better.

I found it at a time in my life when my head and heart were to messed up to make any sense of the world around me. It grounded me.

My pudgy, curled up, ugly toes lengthened and became beautiful. Seriously I went up a shoe size.

Have you ever tried Reflexology? Are you a foot lover or hater?

***

Nurture your soles. Nurture your soul (or at least have a foot bath.)

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26 loves of my life - Let's call him...Oh my Odin. #atozchallenge

  

AC WARNING - THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST MAY REQUIRE AN ADULT CONTENT WARNING. According to the 'Blogging from the A to Z challenge' guidelines, 

The only clues I have as to why are because:

a) It was incredibly difficult for me to tell the story the way I wanted to tell it.

b) No adult ever discussed this with me when I was young. 

The Big 'O' - don't say I didn't warn you 

Here's a wee bit of smut for you.

It was quite accidental. At least I wasn't expecting it.

Odin (a teenage boy not the Norse God) touched me. I was fully dressed but something oscillated  deep inside. I may have gasped, but kept a straight face. I needed to get home. I didn't tell him why. I've rarely told anyone. After dinner, no arguments, I went straight to bed. I touched the same spot and to my wonder it happened again.

*The next lines are just science so I'm assuming they're AC safe*

I've since learned that women are the only living beings that have an organ designed purely for pleasure.

Only women.

Pure. Pleasure.

It's only recently been thoroughly researched and it's much bigger than I ever imagined. It deserves a lot more attention.

*Don't click the play button if you think you might be offended by a lesson in female anatomy - but it's fascinating, and only good can come out of it*

Betty Dodson educates us on the most underestimated female organ...

Since that day with Odin, I done some research of my own. It's important to experiment, communicate and teach if you're after satisfaction. Full stimulation releases specific hormones that improve emotional, physical and mental health... and Oh my Odin it feels good.

*If you averted your eyes back there - Your pretty safe from here*

There is a big difference between sacred and secret. In some parts of the world Aunties and Uncles are given the role of educating youth about the pleasures of being an adult. Sounds better than a random teenage boy and a neighbours hidden videos to me.

Apart from centuries of repression, why do you think the female anatomy has been a long and well kept secret?

Smut really is the wrong word. Women have an organ designed purely for pleasure. Is it any wonder that I have never met a woman that wished she was anything else. There is nothing smutty about that. Right?

***

It might feel like little butterflies or a powerful tremor - but have you ever felt a shift in your body when you've looked at, thought about or touched someone you're attracted to for the first time?

Do you feel uncomfortable talking or writing about intimacy?

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26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call her...Ida. #atozchallenge

Ida can be pronounced 'Ee-da' or 'Eye-da' and I answer to either or either. 

I still feel awkward saying it sometimes, but I've always loved it. 

Some of the nicknames I got as a kid were Idaho potato, Ida spider, Idadoody, I'da thought...

I generally answered with, "I'dA know... if I've heard that one before!'

Ida, sweet as apple cider - is a song from early 1900's.  A lot of old men have sung "Ida sweet as apple cider, oh how idolise her, indeed I do" incredibly off key to me, for as long as I can remember.

Many cultures claim ownership of the origin of the name Ida

In 11 century Germany, Saint Ida the patron saint of brides and widows is credited with teaching, that physical unity in marriage reflects spiritual unities. 

In greek mythology the nymph Ida protected Zeus as a baby, and the constellation Two bears is named in her honour. 

In Indian medicine Ida is aligned with moon energy. It controls the mental processes, and sits at the base of the kundalini.

In hindu mythology Ida is an androgynous Goddess of earth and a granter of blessings.

King Ida in 6th century Britain was the founder of a line of Anglo saxon royalty.

In Norse mythology Ida is a place at the centre of Earth where the most important decisions of the Gods are made. 

Ida - an asteroid with a moon named Dactyl
image courtesy of NASA/Public Domain

Other interesting facts (even if your name isn't Ida):

Ida is the name of the first asteroid discovered with it's own moon. 

Ida is the nickname of a 47 million year old fossil that is linked to the evolution of primates.

Growing up in Australia I never knew another Ida. It stopped being a popular name in America about 100 years ago. In most of Scandinavia it is one of the top 10 most popular girls names. 
I have taught myself to not turn around every time I hear my name being called at the supermarket or public events, since I moved to Denmark. 

For as long as I can remember I have said 'The I in Ida is the God in me.'

I was named after my Italian Grandmother (who I never met) and my Mother says it means glad or happy. Would you name your daughter Ida or Ida?

Does the origin of your name fascinate you?  Have you googled it's meaning?

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 The A to Z challenge.  My theme and links to all 26 Greatest loves of my life.

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call them...Hormonal teenagers #atozchallenge

Oddly enough it was around the time of puberty that I stopped chasing after boys I went to school with.  I was more interested in the posters of movie and pop stars covering my walls. 

I  was in the drama club, debating, a school council representative and captain of house sports. I was a high achieving good girl, that smoked in the toilets and often got sent home from school for wearing too much make-up.

At least once a month we would go to an underage disco.  If my parents knew how many boys I kissed at those police supervised events I would have been banned for life. It was a competitive sport amongst my friends. Anything more? Not a chance. I didn't want to be 'that' girl in the snide remarks and dirty talk of the school yard.

Some of the guys at school would mob the girls, at lunchtime. At first, it was harmless water fights.  Fun and games, until they started trying to pull our dresses off.  Fortunately the more we screamed, yelled and struggled, the faster they backed off. Even on the hottest days, we we wore t-shirts under our dresses and sports bloomers over our undies, a vain attempt to protect our modesty.

Like most of my friends I began thinking about Mr Right. We agreed it was out-dated to wait until we we married to lose our virginity.  We would, however, save ourselves for someone that we were truly in love with.  Someone we would be with forever. The One.

Cue the Summer holidays. "I met a boy cute as can be."

He was a year older, a musician who enrolled at my school after the Summer.  I had my friends he was making new friends. He was mature and never pressured me. During the Easter holidays he politely asked me to take our relationship to the next level.

I considered it, but a nagging feeling that I wasn't in love persisted. I knew he wasn't 'The One.' I broke up with him. Things would only get awkward if he kept asking.

I made some serious promises to myself that year.  Some I didn't keep, others I still maintain.  Like, only ever doing what I feel completely comfortable with.

I guess I love those hormonal teenagers because they taught me how to say "no thank you" to gentlemen with manners and roar at brutes who use force to try and cross my boundaries.

Did you fantasise about your first love being your sole/soulmate, your one and only?  Is this the reason why 'breaking up is never easy'?

26 Greatest loves of my life - Let's call him...Geronimo. #atozchallenge

Geronimo was funny, co-ordinated and a sensitive 12 year old 'of distinction.' I couldn't let on that I liked him. I had already learned to keep my desires to myself.  He was even better at feigning disinterest than I was.

Our romance had a chance to develop when we both scored parts in in the chorus of Sweet Charity, one of our school's annual musicals. We had minor parts but all the cast and crew were expected to go on a weekend rehearsal camp.  Three days before the camp, Geronimo surprised me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Neither of us knew what to do after I said yes, but I couldn't wait to tell my friends.

I didn't see him again before we got on board the bus to go to camp. We sat apart. I thought he was avoiding me. We were the youngest cast members. We weren't as good at hiding our feelings as we thought.

On the first night of camp, some of the older girls told me he was waiting to see me behind the dormitory. I was terrified that he would try to kiss me. A real kiss.

Facing my fears. 26 Greatest loves of my life. #atozchallenge
Image courtesy of clker.com

It was so dark, we could barely see and neither of us remembered a torch.  I needed to blow my nose but was too scared to sniff.  He held my hand, it was sweating. We leant against the back of the building and I froze when I felt him get closer.  He missed my lips. I should have sniffed. It happened so fast.  My nose still dripping, I was too embarrassed to move and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

He gave me a nice long hug, and I wiped my nose on my sleeve. We were afraid of getting caught, and I was afraid of what the older kids would imagine if we were gone to long. We said goodnight and I felt my way back to the front of the building.

Three months after the final show, I wasn't even sure we were together anymore. We never had classes together, never played together and apart from greeting each other 'good morning' and 'see ya tomorrow' every day, we hardly ever spoke.

My friends asked me why we never hung out together. I was sure he was going to drop me, so I got in first.  After I told him it was over he went back to class and smashed a window. Later, I told him I didn't think it would upset him so much and he should have told me how he really felt.  He didn't speak to me for the rest of the year.  I was happy when he found a new girlfriend.

26 Greatest loves of my life #atozchallenge
Image courtesy of clker.com

It never occured to me that he might have been waiting for me to talk to him first. Do you have a tendency to think the worst when you don't have all the facts? Have you got an embarrassing first kiss story?

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26 Greatest Loves of my Life... Let's call him Father #atozchallenge

The Father of my childhood is different to the Father he is now.

We would hear his Station Wagon turning into our street and rush to have the table set while Mum finished preparing dinner, by 5pm every night.

- Now he prepares all the meals, chops things extra small, to accommodate his wife's weakened hands.

He used to wear his hand tailored suits everyday. When he wore his work overalls, he kept his shirt and tie on. Even when he mowed the lawns.

- Now he wears cardigans during the week, and t-shirts when he's at home.

With three daughters and a talkative wife, he never interrupted our conversations and we rarely included him in our girl talk.

- Now he answers the phone and records appointments on the calendar, we make sure we tell him everything.

He used to send us to the shops to buy his cartons of cigarettes.

- Now he does the grocery shopping and hasn't smoked in decades.

Some things will never change.

He still wakes up at half past five, every morning.

At 6am he starts tending to his garden. Nothing is ever wasted. He would be disappointed if he knew we sneak things into the rubbish.

He asks for nothing and shares everything he has. He offers the best of his produce to everyone else and takes what the birds have left for himself.

Mealtimes are 7am, 12pm and 6pm, but he'll wait hours if he knows your coming.

I have never heard him swear, burp or fart. 

He makes his own wine, but I've never seen him drunk. 

35 years have passed since he bought that station wagon and he still parks it under his bedroom window.

He's never mastered the English language, but he never fails to end a conversation with "tell me if you need something, I love you me my daughter."

Lessons from my Father

Just because a tailor spends his life working in a factory, doesn't mean he isn't a tailor.

Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they're a drongo.

You don't have to speak the same language to show how much you love them.

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I use #atozchallenge when sharing my favourite posts.

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*** Read more about:  The A to Z challenge.  My theme and links to all 26 Greatest loves of my life.