26 Greatest loves of my life. Let's call him....Peridot. #atozchallenge

It started in the Spring of '89.  Peri was 18, well travelled, tall and handsome. He had no concept of jealousy.  He was chivalrous, spontaneous and a bird lover.

He took me places I'd never been. The ballet, faraway mountains and the depths of my imagination. When we ate breakfast at Melbourne's fanciest venue, the Hyatt on Collins, his eyes sparkled while Edith Piafs Non, ne je regrette rien crackled over the speakers. He wanted to impress me. I remember thinking it was weird he liked opera! We were an unlikely pair.

In a time when a landline was the only form of communication, I planned chance meetings. I waited for the phone to ring. Checked the dial tone when it didn't, and tried to think of good reasons to call him. I practiced sounding genuine.

Fate bought us together - over and over again.  Destiny, and his lust for walkabouts, kept tearing us apart. He came in and out of my life like a proverbial yo-yo, oddly that's what he used to call me. Our relationship status was 'if you love someone let them free,' when they come back they're yours, but only for short bursts of intense drama"

It was a long-distance, drawn out relationship. For years I dreamt him beside me and woke with empty arms. It became an obsession that manifested into an A-grade addiction. It spawned journals, poetry and lyrics to unfinished rock ballads.

It was all 9 planets aligned, love at first sight, don't tell me it's not true love, I'll always love you, no-one understands our love, I want you to be a mountain, you'd rather be a river, cliche after cliche, unrequited love.  Neither of us found what we were looking for.

Letting go was the lesson. Cry me a waterfall, but the year finally came when I couldn't cry anymore. I let go of the fantasy.

Peri taught me that my words affected other people, in ways I couldn't predict. Emotions didn't exclusively belong to women. Men feel too.

Have you ever invested all your emotions into one person? Fallen in love with someone you thought was an Eagle (partner for life) but turned out to be more of a Rooster?

Image courtesy of free-graphics.com

Cock-a-doodle-do
26 Greatest loves of my live
#atozchallenge

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Read more about:

 The A to Z challenge.  My theme and links to the 26 Greatest loves of my life.

What do you do?

Day 6, Blogging in May Challenge: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

Thanks The things we say

I do smile a lot, apparently. Everybody talks about my smile. Photo's of me smiling are some of the worst I've seen, but people say it makes them happy so I don't really care what I look like. With smiles come laughter it's uncontrollable, unconscious, social and contagious.

I do unravel knots and help people to see new perspectives or re-affirm the ones they have.

I do nice, and not just during natural disasters. I used to think it was easier to be tough.

I do consider the environment, wherever I am.

I do nothing, it usually leads me to something and it satisfies the sloth, who’s just a part of me.

I do share my thoughts and feelings.

I do love mothers and fathers that aren't my own parents, and children that I haven't given birth to.

I do day to day activities of living, usually weekly, sometimes monthly, sometimes I avoid it or I just forget. I do them when I'm reminded or when I move house. I do try to walk through every door with something in my hand, that belongs where I'm headed.

I do fix things, make things and grow things.

I do always keep an eye out for animals, land, sky and sea. I say 'look over there' and 'did you see that?' a lot.

I do celebrate the truimphs, and console through the trials.

I do lot's of reading.

I do what feels right to me, and if I'm not sure I do ask.

I do love the one I'm with.

I do like to know what you do. I do invite you to share. Is it easy for you to answer what do you do, if you can't answer with your job?

X is for XOXO. Healing with words. Day 24. #atozchallenge

xoxo  - hugs and kisses
- From wikipedia - 

The common custom of placing X's on envelopes, notes and at the bottom of letters to mean kisses dates back to the Middle Ages, when a Christian cross was drawn on documents or letters to mean sincerity, faith, and honesty....[also]...which was then kissed in this tradition of displaying a sacred oath.

The 'O' is of North American descent; no one really seems to know how it was started. Perhaps now it is used as the 'O' being rounded represents arms encircling another, as in an embrace.



Dear Beverley,

It's been so long since we talked, I miss you.  I was in Copenhagen last week and you know how whenever I go to a big city I always see people I recognise, even though it's not really them, just their look-a-likes, and how that makes me feel convinced that we have doppelgangers or perhaps even alternate/parallel lives (who knows right?).

Anyway, all I do know for sure, is that every city smells the same and they all have similar looking characters wandering around.  I know it's wrong to judge, but it's not just the clothes they wear, or their hairstyles, it's the lines marked on their faces, the shape and angle of their teeth, their smile and their gait and the exact shape of a fist their hand makes.  Sometimes it's just a slight similarity other times it really is an identical image. Well, you'll never believe it (well of course you will though others might not) this time I saw you. And my dear dear Beverley, you were so wonderful, so happy, so strong.

I was in Copenhagen to see the new Wallmans show in the old circus building.  I know you would have loved it. I remember all the stories you used to tell me about your mothers family being travelling circus folk.  I know you were young when she died, but there was a lady on stage that looked so much like you, I am sure you would have recognised your mum in her.  I literally gasped when she came out, and then when she began to sing I cried.  She was a star, there was even a Marilyn Munroesque performer that was a show stealer right beside you, but you were smoother, sexier and your voice was amazing. Every song was you and every memory we shared together, or should have shared together, was in every single word of every song she sang.

When she sung Adele's 'Someone like you', I understood everything.  I understood why you couldn't stay, I understood that line that never made sense to me before.  I understand this letter is the first of many to you. I also understand why your little dog Mishka still has my name and number recorded on her microchip, as her emergency contact... and why I got a call from Australia last week to let me know that she ran away but she is back home safe and sound now.

I wanted to meet the amazing singer after the show and tell her that she had touched a part of me that had long ago been buried with you.  Maybe I was there for her as much as she was there for me, or maybe she would have just thought I was a stone cold crazy.  I left without saying goodbye.

Forever a part of me.
xoxo

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Find out how I chose my theme by reading my intro blog A-Z challenge list. Words of change.  You are welcome to add more words to the list in the comments - that I'll link back to you.

The risky decision. Following my heart and moving to Denmark

I have decided to move to Denmark, I haven't yet decided on a date, but everything is pointing to flying back with my sweetheart Søren (pronounced Soeren) on May the 13th, 2010. After searching deep and questioning the people that surround me, my final decision is based on the fact that the only thing riskier then taking such an adventurous risk is NOT taking a risk at all.

So it is time to arrange moving to a foreign country, consider learning a new and difficult language and giving my sweetheart the chance he wholeheartly requested and deserves...the chance to make ME happy.

Of course, as is my nature, I have decided to leave everything to the last minute. If I do move in May, there are only have a few weeks left to break up with so many of my other loves, like my country Australia, my city (I love Melbourne), my cute little apartment, friends and family, jobs as a teacher, reflexologist and nurse and most heartbreakingly my ageing parents, who are also immigrants, and know to well the distance between the two hemispheres is enormous.

This romance may seem sudden to some, but it actually started 12 years ago when we worked on a ship together, and neither of us even had email addresses. He claims that is when he first fell in love, though I didn't recognise it. He even proposed to me, I was distracted and didn't take it seriously. Sadly there was an 11 year gap before we were re-united again through facebook, and msn, and now Skype gratefully has become a part of our daily lives. In this last 12 months we have written over a thousand pages of notes, emails and instant chats to each other, and spent several hours every day discussing, comtemplating, sharing our thoughts, dreams and truthfully revealing all our fears. He has travelled here once and arranged for me to travel to Denmark, in the worst winter they have had for decades, to meet all of his family. Despite the distance between us, from the moment he expressed his desire to be together and I gave him the green light to pursue his dreams, I have felt like he is right beside me the whole time. It is this process and his dedication, that has slowly but surely convinced me that he is not a sad lonely stalker but the sweetest and most perfect man, for this once absolutely confirmed single forever, free spirited, adventourous but somewhat weary and battered soul of mine.

In this blog, I hope to catalogue our meeting, and share my experience of love and relationships, and of course the journey to and from here. I guess that covers everything from my family, my youth, growing older and of course the adventure and challenges of being an expat.

Right now though, I'm at work [@ the Colon Care Clinic http://www.coloncareclinic.com.au/,  - the buzzer is about to buzz, so until next time, which at this rate might not be until I touch down in Denmark (whenever that will be!) I will leave you with Søren's fave quote.

"If you want something bad enough you will find the way to get it."

Love and Laughs

Ida