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Amongst other things, this is a love story.... the theme changes occasionally... this year it is fitness and learning to love yourself.

9 April 2013

H is for Humility - Humility. A-Z blogging challenge - Words of change. Day 8

humility |(h)yoōˈmilitē|
a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness. 

The first word I pulled from my deck of magic spirit cards was humility.  I looked it up in the dictionary. I wasn't sure how it related to my question, or my life.

The dictionary defintion didn't help.  Should I be more humble, or was I too humble? I read the little instruction sheet that came with the cards, it suggested if you need help to understand just choose another card.

I shuffled the deck and spread them out face down, closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind.  I reached out, this time with my left hand, and chose my second card, and got humility again. Was this some kind of cosmic joke?  Strange as it sounds I did it again, this was an ongoing saga. 

I turned the deck over and organised them into alphabetical order. I discovered my deck had two humility cards. I felt honoured and cheated. I’ve always appreciated flaws, but couldn't my flaw be something more positive and simple, like balance or harmony?

My quest for understanding was ignited. First I thought about returning the deck, it was faulty could I replace them?  Instead I decided it was a gift, a reflection of me that needed exploring. 

I pulled out a Thesaurus. Was I too humble and modest or too proud, vain and overbearing?  Was I all of these things, at different times, with different people? Was it positive or negative - did humility actually have two meanings, or did I just have to learn twice as much?

I devoted a lot of time to asking people what they thought humility meant.  Most said humble, others said humiliation. I learned it could mean the opposite of glory. Should I lower my standards, or raise them higher? Am I being a servant instead of being of service?  Did I think I was better than everyone else or not honouring my own worth. Was I learning from people around me, or trying to hard to teach them a lesson? Was I being aggressive, assertive or far too submissive?

These two little cards, made me look deeper... I was all of those things, common and noble.  

My shortcomings are obvious and strengths are many, we are all equal, no more or no less.  All the positive and negative I see is just a reflection of me.  

My well used and abused deck with two doses of humiliy